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A SURVEY OF MARITAL ADJUSTIVE CRISIS AMONG MARRIED

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A SURVEY OF MARITAL ADJUSTIVE CRISIS AMONG MARRIED 

CHAPTER ONE
INTRODUCTION

Background of the Study
Marriage has been variously defined by different scholars, Amao- Kehinde (1999) defined marriage as a sacred and permanent contract between a man and a woman who have consented to live a life of vocation, love and sharing for each other for the purpose of promoting their mutual growth and welfare as persons in their journey through life. This implies that marital relationship is meant to be a life long one until the death of a partner. According to Procter (1984), marriage is a social institution in which a man and a woman are legally united to establish a durable union as husband and wife for a new family unit. Also Della (1998) sees marriage as a legal union of a man and a woman for co-habitation and often procreation. This accepted way of life requires much from spouses to sustain the marriage from collapse.
Ideally, marriage should be a life long agreement between husband and wife. Ocho (1996) in her own view, contented that, marriage is a social process whereby a man a woman agree to live together as husband and wife for the rest of their lives in the presence of at least, two witnesses.
Eri (2004) defines marriages as, the contract between a man a woman to leave as husband and wife after performing the ceremony of payment of dowry. He  further  stressed  that,  the  essential  requirements  of  a  valid  customary

marriage are, (1) Agreement between two parties, (2) formal introduction of the two families (3) the payment of dowry or bride price to the parents of the bride to be, (4) the ceremony of marriage of the handing over of the woman to the man’s family. Anibueze (2000) states that marriage is a legal union of two adult of the opposite sex who live together in joy and sadness, sorrow and tears, peace and harmony till death separates them. This implies that marital relationship between couples may experience problems, difficulties, challenges, conflicts and confusions at one time or another.
According to Sholfer and Shoben (1986) marital relationships experience crisis and conflicts that sometimes result in divorce, separation, broken homes, violence against women or men, child neglect and several other devastating effects of intra-marital conflicts. Inspite of the fact that couples are aware of the intimate contract they into in marriage and the implication of this contract to their lives, they encounter challenges that they sometimes cannot handle. The survival of such marriages largely depends on how effective the couples are in managing their marital relationship.
There are so many factors affecting marital relationships. According to Onyechi (2003) such factors include lack of sexual satisfaction, childlessness communication gap, in-law influence, poverty among others these factors generate crisis and conflicts that are detrimental to marital relationships such as desertion, negligence, malicious beating, child abuse, abscondment, assault, disobedience  and  several  other  feature  in  martial  relationship.  There  are

however some positive factors such as good communications, martial intimacy among others that tend to strengthen marital relationships. Nwobi, (1995) observed that over the years, the society has witnessed an alarming rate of divorce, marital dissatisfaction, loss of affection between couples and cases of marital violence. According to him, these ugly situations that are caused either by the spouse, their parent or friends result to maltreatment, desertion, ejection, negligence, children custody, child abuse, child neglect, abscondment, malicious beating among others.
According to Agupugo (1998) marital conflict is on the increase, and the society needs efficient and effective marital counselors to handle these problems before they get out of control. Also Garba (1995) asserts that at the initial time couples have high opinion of each other, they overflow with joyous thoughts. Each has a firm intention of pleasing and nourishing feelings of affection and love towards a person who is about to be a partner for life. Some years after, the newly weds discover that they have entered into an entirely different world and that nothing is quite the same as it was before marriage. He went further to say that as time goes on, things begin to change, the warm and romantic relationship once enjoyed begin to fade as they may be living in a chronic situation of hate, fear and confusion resulting in an unending conflict. It is inevitable that individuals involved in ongoing relationship will experience marital conflict.
The fact that two people agree or plan to live together as husband and wife calls for different expectations and hopes, some of which might be fulfilled

while others remain unfulfilled. Unfulfilled expectations and hopes in marriage often give rise to maladjustment and unless the couples concerned face the reality of a given situation conflict might abound in such homes (Amao- Kehinde 1999).
According to Obiadi (1988), we live in a very conservative society; we can no longer deny that many Nigerian families are troubled. Many married couples can be better described as existing under the same roof rather than living together as husband and wife. As noted by Maduakonam (1991), the situation is so bad that some people tend to suggest that marriage, an-ubiquitous practice of man, is universally stressful, so much that it has been described as one of the causes of human misery and unhappiness in the present world. Marriage, marital conflict and adjustment have been classified as one of the most pressing social problems at the present world.. He further noted  that marital conflicts have been found to be on a rapid increase among Nigerians especially among those living in urban cities and this constitute a serious threat to social and economic stability of the nation. What is happening among Nigerian couples makes one fear and doubt if there is really joy in marriage, (Cuber and Harrof, 1985). As noted by Rahman (1981), no marriage can escape conflict. Records from customary courts, welfare offices and some homes will testify to this. There has been unprecedented rising rate of marital conflicts (Omeje, 2000). The issue of concern is not whether there is presence of marital conflicts but resolving marital conflict.

A cursory look at families affected by marital conflict has shown that marital conflicts have resulted in devastating effects on family relationship and family members. Oputa (2003) observed that the existence of marital conflict and their traumatic effects cannot be ignored or wished away especially on children. It should be controlled and resolved, because when this mutual hostility is not resolved, the effect is disharmony and lack of peace in marriage. To him peace advances development, growth and progress in marriage. The researcher had observed that marital conflicts had led to divorce, separation, violence against wife and sometimes children gang up with their mother against their father. When the home is in turmoil, with no peace and is bedeviled with conflicts between spouses, they can never be peace and progress in that family.
Incessant conflicts result in broken homes, which consequently breed criminals and juvenile delinquents in the society. Children from broken homes also experience educational backwardness and sometimes drop out of school because they cannot cope with conflict at home and academic challenges. When the home or the family is confused and bedeviled by inter-personal conflicts, you do not expect children to develop sound personality due to family socialization at home. Omeje, (2000) rightly observed that conflicts could lead to couples separation, divorce and maltreatment of various sorts that affect the children socially, morally, physically and emotionally. According to him no marriage is a bed of roses; hence some couples try to tolerate one another to

avoid marital conflicts in their home while others don’t tolerate each other hence the conflict in marriage.
According to Turner (1976), marital conflict resolution is important because it prevents marital conflicts from degenerating into total collapse of the marriages and abuse of children from such marriages. It also ensures that none of the parties in the conflicts will have his or her self- image damaged. The aim of any marital conflict resolution is to minimize misunderstanding and enhance cordial relationship between the couples.
Oputa (2003) asserts that marital conflict resolution involves persuasion, dialogue, tolerance, co-operation and mutual understanding. Conflict resolution does not involve the use of verbal or physical force. It does not involve the use of coercion, antagonism, competition and avoidance. All parties involved in family dispute or marital conflicts, must have mutual respect for each other and should address issues and principles involved in the conflicts (Nicolleti-flater, 2003).
Most married people when involved in conflicts report to elders in the family, Umuada, parent’s in-law, marital counselors, and to their church ministers when issues or conflicts are getting out of control. Sometimes conflicts can be resolved by these different groups depending on the interest of the parties involved. Several scholars believe that involving an individual in resolving his or her marital conflicts have been found to be positively related to marital happiness and success in marital affairs. These scholars opined that, a

marital conflict resolution technique known as “performance based treatment” methods that entails personal involvement are superior to those which rely primarily on passive or observational learning procedures (Gurin, Joseph and Sheila 1980, Bandura 1977 and Jacobson and Anderson, 1980)
Ability to tolerate is assumed to be dependent on ones personal character as two individuals are not alike. As Nwobi (1995) noted that couples background factors (or personal characteristics) which include age of marriage (or length of marriage). Academic qualification, income and number of children, type of marriage and type of family have significant impact on the couple’s ability to tolerate one another. She further noted that these personal characteristics influence marital adjustment of couples in combination with the couple’s personality characteristics. No two individuals are alike hence we have individual differences that make an individual behave the way he/she does.
Personal characteristics are those human traits or factors that help to distinguish one person from another. The personality factors that are often considered in this regard include Gender, Age, Marital status, Educational background, Occupational status, Length of marriage and others (Mmaduakonam, 1997). These factors according to Robbins (1989) help a great deal to account for observable differences in our behavioural traits.
Gender here refers to male or female, gender equity and fairness is key to success in any marital affair or relations. The way a man values a woman determines how he treats her and vice-versa. So, the principle of equity should

be the guiding principle in any marital relationship. Without gender equity and fairness marital relationship becomes exploitative and may result to injustice and conflicts between couples
Age in marriage relates to how old the couples are. In traditional African societies, we respect age of individuals. It is believed that the older ones is, the more wisdom he/she acquires from life experience and that account for how one behaves at every particular stage of his/her life. The age or length of marriage may refer to how long the couple has lived together as husband and wife. The length of marriages partly determines the stability of marriage and tolerance between couples. It is believed naturally that the older the age of marriage, the lesser the conflict in the sense that the partners get to know each other and gets more stabilized. When couples gets involved in marriage earlier in life, there is bound to be that carry-over of youthful exuberance on marital issues. Consistent exhibition of intolerance, lack of compromising attitude, display of selfishness, disregard for right of the other due to differences in Age bring about marital conflicts.
The educational background of couples or married people matter a lot, the educational qualification goes a long way to determine the behaviour of each of the partners, as education is a veritable tool for acquiring skills, which may relate to stability in marriage. The educational level of couples has also been identified as a factor that affects family stability (Okoye, 2001). He contended that in most families where the husband and wife are literate, the incidence of

marital problems is minimal when compared with non-literate couples. This findings might be attributed to the fact that educated men and women appear very humble, calm, quiet and tolerant in view of the kind of training received while at school. Education no doubt instills discipline in individuals as well as influences their level of interaction with one another. Individuals who are in certain occupations that are highly rated by the society and admired by all men and women also display certain personal characteristics that distinguish them from those working in low rated occupations. Their behaviour sometimes is intimidating and humiliating, and could bring about conflicts in marriage. And also the fact that in some families, the couples might be working and in some either the man is working and the woman is not working could bring about conflicts in the home. This presupposes at working couples are bound to have a settled peace of the mind since they would be able to provide for most of their family needs.
These personal factors include a variety of personal characteristics, which are identifiable with the individual. Essentially human beings differ from one another because of these personal attributes (factors or characteristics) that are an individual personal attributes helps to define him or her in broad terms. The category one belongs to is consequently used as a basis for explaining ones behaviour patterns (Ojugo, 2004).
There is abundant evidence from the above to show that ones behaviour is determined  by  some  of  these  personal  attributes.  The  question  this  study

addresses is whether these personal factors have a relationship with the marital conflict resolution strategies being employed by married people in Enugu State. Based on this, the researcher is interested in finding out the relationship between personal factors and marital conflict resolution strategies among married people in Enugu State.

Statement of the Problem
In an attempt to resolve marital conflicts, some couples employ different strategies depending on their experiences and personal characteristics. Often times, these strategies do not help in ameliorating the problem as many couples end up getting more maladjusted through the use of inappropriate strategies. As a counselor, it is sad to see maladjusted couples adopt these wrong strategies that rather aggravate the conflict situations. In addition, strategies used in resolving conflicts appear to be predicted on some personal factors such as gender, age, length of marriage, educational level, experience among others. Hence it becomes expedient that the relationship between couples personal factors and marital conflict resolution strategies be explored with a view to assisting couples adopt useful strategies. Against this background, the study asks what is the relationship between personal factors and marital conflict resolution strategies among married people in Enugu State.

Purpose of the Study
The purpose of the study generally was to find out the relationship between personal factors and marital conflict resolution strategies among married people in Enugu State. Specifically, the study sought to:-
(1)     Find out the strategies employed by married people in resolving conflicts.
(2)     Find  out  the  extent  to  which  the  strategies  employed  are effective in resolving marital conflicts among married people.
(3)     Determine the relationship between Gender and marital conflict resolution strategies.
(4)     Determine the relationships between Age and marital conflict resolution strategies
(5)     Determine  the  relationship  between  length  of  marriage  and marital conflict resolution strategies
(6)     Determine the relationship between Educational qualification and marital conflict resolution strategies
(7)     Determine  the  relationship  between  occupational  status  and marital conflict resolution strategies.
Significance of the Study
The findings of this study will provide empirical information that relates to personal factors and marital conflict resolution strategy. Such information will enable researchers, marriage counselors, therapists and social workers to have a better understanding and conceptualization of marriage conflicts, causes and different resolution strategies and their effectiveness and how they relate to personal factors. Marriage counseling will help reduce the escalating rate of divorce in our society. When parents reflect on the effects of divorce on couples, their children and society, they will prefer to adopt strategies to resolve conflicts.
The findings of this study will further the application of the social learning theory of Albert Bandura and marital communication theory model of Weakland on which this work is anchored. Based on this, the theories applicability as they relate to marital conflict resolution will be of immense benefit to scholars in the field of family and marriage. Further researchers could fall back on the result of the present study. The result will be made available to scholars and researchers in the field through conference publications, workshops, seminars and talks.
Practically the findings of the study will be of great significance  to family, counselors, couples, intending couples considering to get married as well as Non-governmental organizations. Firstly, the findings of this study will help marriage as well as family counselors who are concerned with healthy family and marital life to be aware of marital conflict resolution strategies being employed by married people within the area and how effective they are. The knowledge will assist them in helping families with cases of marital conflict.

This implies that the resolution of marital conflicts will be enhanced through the findings of this study.
Furthermore, the findings will be significant to couples experiencing conflict. When the result is made known to the public through workshops and seminars, couples at the verge of divorce as a result of conflict will be at advantage. Such couples will now be aware of such conflict resolution strategies that are effective and be able to apply same in their situation. Bearing such personal factors and their influence in conflict resolution, one will be equipped with factors that could enhance or mar conflict resolution.
Equally, the findings of this study will provide information for non- governmental organizations (NGOs) who are interested in the area of marriage and family relationship to mount enlightenment programmes for both married couples and the youth who intend to go into marriage later in their lives.
The findings will equip coordinators of pre-marital education both in churches and non - church settings such as the priests, pastors, prophets, prophetesses and all others who by virtue of their duties encounter people or couples with marital problems with information on available marital conflict resolution strategies. Such will make them to impact on intending couples such information, which they might use in similar situations. What this implies is that at their formative stage in marriage they must have been equipped with potentials that can alleviate their future problems.

Finally, it is hoped that this study will add to the existing body of educational research literature, which might be harnessed for further research in this and other related fields.

Scope of the Study
This study was carried out among married people in Enugu State of Nigeria. The study was carried out in three senatorial zones of the State. The predictor variable of this study (personal factors) was limited to gender, age, length of marriage, educational qualification and occupational status of the couples. The study equally examined the strategies being employed and the extent they influence the resolution of marital conflicts.

Research Questions
The following research questions were raised to guide the study.
(1)     What  are  the  strategies  employed  by  married  people  in  resolving marital conflict?
(2)     To  what  extent  are  the  strategies  effective  in  resolving  marital conflicts among married people?
(3)     What is       the    relationship         between    Gender       and   marital          conflict resolution strategies of married people

(4)     What is the relationship between Age and martial conflict resolution strategies of married people
(5)     What  is  the  relationship  between  length  of  marriage  and  conflict resolution strategies of married people
(6)     What is the relationship between educational qualification and conflict resolution strategies of married people
(7)     What  is  the  relationship  between  occupational  status  and  conflict resolution strategies of married people.

Hypothesis
The following null hypothesis were generated and tested at the 0.05 level of significance.
(1)     There is no significant relationship between Gender and marital conflict resolution strategies of couples.
(2)     There  is no  significant  relationship  between  Age  and  marital conflict resolution strategies of couples.
(3)     There is no significant relationship between Length of marriage and marital conflict resolution strategies of couples.
(4)     There          is       no     significant  relationship         between    Educational qualification and marital conflict resolution strategies of couples.
(5)     There is no significant relationship between Occupational status and marital conflict resolution strategies of couples.



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