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A SURVEY OF MARITAL
ADJUSTIVE CRISIS AMONG MARRIED
CHAPTER ONE
INTRODUCTION
Background of the Study
Marriage has been variously defined by different scholars,
Amao- Kehinde (1999) defined marriage as a sacred and permanent contract
between a man and a woman who have consented to live a life of vocation, love
and sharing for each other for the purpose of promoting their mutual growth and
welfare as persons in their journey through life. This implies that marital
relationship is meant to be a life long one until the death of a partner.
According to Procter (1984), marriage is a social institution in which a man
and a woman are legally united to establish a durable union as husband and wife
for a new family unit. Also Della (1998) sees marriage as a legal union of a
man and a woman for co-habitation and often procreation. This accepted way of
life requires much from spouses to sustain the marriage from collapse.
Ideally, marriage should be a life long agreement between
husband and wife. Ocho (1996) in her own view, contented that, marriage is a
social process whereby a man a woman agree to live together as husband and wife
for the rest of their lives in the presence of at least, two witnesses.
Eri (2004) defines marriages as, the contract between a man a
woman to leave as husband and wife after performing the ceremony of payment of
dowry. He further stressed
that, the essential
requirements of a
valid customary
marriage are, (1) Agreement between two parties, (2) formal
introduction of the two families (3) the payment of dowry or bride price to the
parents of the bride to be, (4) the ceremony of marriage of the handing over of
the woman to the man’s family. Anibueze (2000) states that marriage is a legal
union of two adult of the opposite sex who live together in joy and sadness,
sorrow and tears, peace and harmony till death separates them. This implies
that marital relationship between couples may experience problems,
difficulties, challenges, conflicts and confusions at one time or another.
According to Sholfer and Shoben (1986) marital relationships
experience crisis and conflicts that sometimes result in divorce, separation,
broken homes, violence against women or men, child neglect and several other
devastating effects of intra-marital conflicts. Inspite of the fact that
couples are aware of the intimate contract they into in marriage and the
implication of this contract to their lives, they encounter challenges that
they sometimes cannot handle. The survival of such marriages largely depends on
how effective the couples are in managing their marital relationship.
There are so many factors affecting marital relationships.
According to Onyechi (2003) such factors include lack of sexual satisfaction,
childlessness communication gap, in-law influence, poverty among others these
factors generate crisis and conflicts that are detrimental to marital
relationships such as desertion, negligence, malicious beating, child abuse,
abscondment, assault, disobedience
and several other
feature in martial
relationship. There are
however some positive factors such as good communications,
martial intimacy among others that tend to strengthen marital relationships.
Nwobi, (1995) observed that over the years, the society has witnessed an
alarming rate of divorce, marital dissatisfaction, loss of affection between
couples and cases of marital violence. According to him, these ugly situations
that are caused either by the spouse, their parent or friends result to
maltreatment, desertion, ejection, negligence, children custody, child abuse,
child neglect, abscondment, malicious beating among others.
According to Agupugo (1998) marital conflict is on the
increase, and the society needs efficient and effective marital counselors to
handle these problems before they get out of control. Also Garba (1995) asserts
that at the initial time couples have high opinion of each other, they overflow
with joyous thoughts. Each has a firm intention of pleasing and nourishing
feelings of affection and love towards a person who is about to be a partner
for life. Some years after, the newly weds discover that they have entered into
an entirely different world and that nothing is quite the same as it was before
marriage. He went further to say that as time goes on, things begin to change,
the warm and romantic relationship once enjoyed begin to fade as they may be
living in a chronic situation of hate, fear and confusion resulting in an
unending conflict. It is inevitable that individuals involved in ongoing
relationship will experience marital conflict.
The fact that two people agree or plan to live together as
husband and wife calls for different expectations and hopes, some of which
might be fulfilled
while others remain unfulfilled. Unfulfilled expectations and
hopes in marriage often give rise to maladjustment and unless the couples
concerned face the reality of a given situation conflict might abound in such
homes (Amao- Kehinde 1999).
According to Obiadi (1988), we live in a very conservative
society; we can no longer deny that many Nigerian families are troubled. Many
married couples can be better described as existing under the same roof rather
than living together as husband and wife. As noted by Maduakonam (1991), the
situation is so bad that some people tend to suggest that marriage,
an-ubiquitous practice of man, is universally stressful, so much that it has
been described as one of the causes of human misery and unhappiness in the
present world. Marriage, marital conflict and adjustment have been classified
as one of the most pressing social problems at the present world.. He further
noted that marital conflicts have been
found to be on a rapid increase among Nigerians especially among those living
in urban cities and this constitute a serious threat to social and economic
stability of the nation. What is happening among Nigerian couples makes one fear
and doubt if there is really joy in marriage, (Cuber and Harrof, 1985). As
noted by Rahman (1981), no marriage can escape conflict. Records from customary
courts, welfare offices and some homes will testify to this. There has been
unprecedented rising rate of marital conflicts (Omeje, 2000). The issue of
concern is not whether there is presence of marital conflicts but resolving
marital conflict.
A cursory look at families affected by marital conflict has
shown that marital conflicts have resulted in devastating effects on family
relationship and family members. Oputa (2003) observed that the existence of
marital conflict and their traumatic effects cannot be ignored or wished away
especially on children. It should be controlled and resolved, because when this
mutual hostility is not resolved, the effect is disharmony and lack of peace in
marriage. To him peace advances development, growth and progress in marriage.
The researcher had observed that marital conflicts had led to divorce,
separation, violence against wife and sometimes children gang up with their
mother against their father. When the home is in turmoil, with no peace and is
bedeviled with conflicts between spouses, they can never be peace and progress
in that family.
Incessant conflicts result in broken homes, which
consequently breed criminals and juvenile delinquents in the society. Children
from broken homes also experience educational backwardness and sometimes drop
out of school because they cannot cope with conflict at home and academic
challenges. When the home or the family is confused and bedeviled by
inter-personal conflicts, you do not expect children to develop sound
personality due to family socialization at home. Omeje, (2000) rightly observed
that conflicts could lead to couples separation, divorce and maltreatment of
various sorts that affect the children socially, morally, physically and
emotionally. According to him no marriage is a bed of roses; hence some couples
try to tolerate one another to
avoid marital conflicts in their home while others don’t
tolerate each other hence the conflict in marriage.
According to Turner (1976), marital conflict resolution is
important because it prevents marital conflicts from degenerating into total
collapse of the marriages and abuse of children from such marriages. It also
ensures that none of the parties in the conflicts will have his or her self-
image damaged. The aim of any marital conflict resolution is to minimize
misunderstanding and enhance cordial relationship between the couples.
Oputa (2003) asserts that marital conflict resolution
involves persuasion, dialogue, tolerance, co-operation and mutual
understanding. Conflict resolution does not involve the use of verbal or
physical force. It does not involve the use of coercion, antagonism,
competition and avoidance. All parties involved in family dispute or marital
conflicts, must have mutual respect for each other and should address issues
and principles involved in the conflicts (Nicolleti-flater, 2003).
Most married people when involved in conflicts report to
elders in the family, Umuada, parent’s in-law, marital counselors, and to their
church ministers when issues or conflicts are getting out of control. Sometimes
conflicts can be resolved by these different groups depending on the interest
of the parties involved. Several scholars believe that involving an individual
in resolving his or her marital conflicts have been found to be positively
related to marital happiness and success in marital affairs. These scholars
opined that, a
marital conflict resolution technique known as “performance
based treatment” methods that entails personal involvement are superior to
those which rely primarily on passive or observational learning procedures
(Gurin, Joseph and Sheila 1980, Bandura 1977 and Jacobson and Anderson, 1980)
Ability to tolerate is assumed to be dependent on ones
personal character as two individuals are not alike. As Nwobi (1995) noted that
couples background factors (or personal characteristics) which include age of
marriage (or length of marriage). Academic qualification, income and number of
children, type of marriage and type of family have significant impact on the
couple’s ability to tolerate one another. She further noted that these personal
characteristics influence marital adjustment of couples in combination with the
couple’s personality characteristics. No two individuals are alike hence we
have individual differences that make an individual behave the way he/she does.
Personal characteristics are those human traits or factors
that help to distinguish one person from another. The personality factors that
are often considered in this regard include Gender, Age, Marital status,
Educational background, Occupational status, Length of marriage and others
(Mmaduakonam, 1997). These factors according to Robbins (1989) help a great
deal to account for observable differences in our behavioural traits.
Gender here refers to male or female, gender equity and
fairness is key to success in any marital affair or relations. The way a man
values a woman determines how he treats her and vice-versa. So, the principle
of equity should
be the guiding principle in any marital relationship. Without
gender equity and fairness marital relationship becomes exploitative and may
result to injustice and conflicts between couples
Age in marriage relates to how old the couples are. In
traditional African societies, we respect age of individuals. It is believed
that the older ones is, the more wisdom he/she acquires from life experience
and that account for how one behaves at every particular stage of his/her life.
The age or length of marriage may refer to how long the couple has lived
together as husband and wife. The length of marriages partly determines the
stability of marriage and tolerance between couples. It is believed naturally
that the older the age of marriage, the lesser the conflict in the sense that
the partners get to know each other and gets more stabilized. When couples gets
involved in marriage earlier in life, there is bound to be that carry-over of
youthful exuberance on marital issues. Consistent exhibition of intolerance,
lack of compromising attitude, display of selfishness, disregard for right of
the other due to differences in Age bring about marital conflicts.
The educational background of couples or married people
matter a lot, the educational qualification goes a long way to determine the
behaviour of each of the partners, as education is a veritable tool for
acquiring skills, which may relate to stability in marriage. The educational
level of couples has also been identified as a factor that affects family
stability (Okoye, 2001). He contended that in most families where the husband
and wife are literate, the incidence of
marital problems is minimal when compared with non-literate
couples. This findings might be attributed to the fact that educated men and
women appear very humble, calm, quiet and tolerant in view of the kind of
training received while at school. Education no doubt instills discipline in
individuals as well as influences their level of interaction with one another.
Individuals who are in certain occupations that are highly rated by the society
and admired by all men and women also display certain personal characteristics
that distinguish them from those working in low rated occupations. Their
behaviour sometimes is intimidating and humiliating, and could bring about
conflicts in marriage. And also the fact that in some families, the couples
might be working and in some either the man is working and the woman is not
working could bring about conflicts in the home. This presupposes at working
couples are bound to have a settled peace of the mind since they would be able
to provide for most of their family needs.
These personal factors include a variety of personal
characteristics, which are identifiable with the individual. Essentially human
beings differ from one another because of these personal attributes (factors or
characteristics) that are an individual personal attributes helps to define him
or her in broad terms. The category one belongs to is consequently used as a
basis for explaining ones behaviour patterns (Ojugo, 2004).
There is abundant evidence from the above to show that ones
behaviour is determined by some
of these personal
attributes. The question
this study
addresses is whether these personal factors have a
relationship with the marital conflict resolution strategies being employed by
married people in Enugu State. Based on this, the researcher is interested in
finding out the relationship between personal factors and marital conflict
resolution strategies among married people in Enugu State.
Statement of the Problem
In an attempt to resolve marital conflicts, some couples
employ different strategies depending on their experiences and personal
characteristics. Often times, these strategies do not help in ameliorating the
problem as many couples end up getting more maladjusted through the use of
inappropriate strategies. As a counselor, it is sad to see maladjusted couples
adopt these wrong strategies that rather aggravate the conflict situations. In
addition, strategies used in resolving conflicts appear to be predicted on some
personal factors such as gender, age, length of marriage, educational level,
experience among others. Hence it becomes expedient that the relationship
between couples personal factors and marital conflict resolution strategies be
explored with a view to assisting couples adopt useful strategies. Against this
background, the study asks what is the relationship between personal factors
and marital conflict resolution strategies among married people in Enugu State.
Purpose of the Study
The purpose of the study generally was to find out the
relationship between personal factors and marital conflict resolution
strategies among married people in Enugu State. Specifically, the study sought
to:-
(1) Find out the
strategies employed by married people in resolving conflicts.
(2) Find out
the extent to
which the strategies
employed are effective in
resolving marital conflicts among married people.
(3) Determine the
relationship between Gender and marital conflict resolution strategies.
(4) Determine the
relationships between Age and marital conflict resolution strategies
(5) Determine the
relationship between length
of marriage and marital conflict resolution strategies
(6) Determine the
relationship between Educational qualification and marital conflict resolution
strategies
(7) Determine the
relationship between occupational
status and marital conflict
resolution strategies.
Significance of the Study
The findings of this study will provide empirical information
that relates to personal factors and marital conflict resolution strategy. Such
information will enable researchers, marriage counselors, therapists and social
workers to have a better understanding and conceptualization of marriage
conflicts, causes and different resolution strategies and their effectiveness
and how they relate to personal factors. Marriage counseling will help reduce
the escalating rate of divorce in our society. When parents reflect on the
effects of divorce on couples, their children and society, they will prefer to
adopt strategies to resolve conflicts.
The findings of this study will further the application of
the social learning theory of Albert Bandura and marital communication theory
model of Weakland on which this work is anchored. Based on this, the theories
applicability as they relate to marital conflict resolution will be of immense
benefit to scholars in the field of family and marriage. Further researchers
could fall back on the result of the present study. The result will be made available
to scholars and researchers in the field through conference publications,
workshops, seminars and talks.
Practically the findings of the study will be of great
significance to family, counselors,
couples, intending couples considering to get married as well as
Non-governmental organizations. Firstly, the findings of this study will help
marriage as well as family counselors who are concerned with healthy family and
marital life to be aware of marital conflict resolution strategies being
employed by married people within the area and how effective they are. The
knowledge will assist them in helping families with cases of marital conflict.
This implies that the resolution of marital conflicts will be
enhanced through the findings of this study.
Furthermore, the findings will be significant to couples
experiencing conflict. When the result is made known to the public through
workshops and seminars, couples at the verge of divorce as a result of conflict
will be at advantage. Such couples will now be aware of such conflict
resolution strategies that are effective and be able to apply same in their
situation. Bearing such personal factors and their influence in conflict
resolution, one will be equipped with factors that could enhance or mar
conflict resolution.
Equally, the findings of this study will provide information
for non- governmental organizations (NGOs) who are interested in the area of
marriage and family relationship to mount enlightenment programmes for both
married couples and the youth who intend to go into marriage later in their
lives.
The findings will equip coordinators of pre-marital education
both in churches and non - church settings such as the priests, pastors,
prophets, prophetesses and all others who by virtue of their duties encounter
people or couples with marital problems with information on available marital
conflict resolution strategies. Such will make them to impact on intending
couples such information, which they might use in similar situations. What this
implies is that at their formative stage in marriage they must have been
equipped with potentials that can alleviate their future problems.
Finally, it is hoped that this study will add to the existing
body of educational research literature, which might be harnessed for further
research in this and other related fields.
Scope of the Study
This study was carried out among married people in Enugu
State of Nigeria. The study was carried out in three senatorial zones of the
State. The predictor variable of this study (personal factors) was limited to
gender, age, length of marriage, educational qualification and occupational
status of the couples. The study equally examined the strategies being employed
and the extent they influence the resolution of marital conflicts.
Research Questions
The following research questions were raised to guide the
study.
(1) What are
the strategies employed
by married people
in resolving marital conflict?
(2) To what
extent are the
strategies effective in
resolving marital conflicts among
married people?
(3) What is the relationship between Gender and marital conflict
resolution strategies of married people
(4) What is the
relationship between Age and martial conflict resolution strategies of married
people
(5) What is
the relationship between
length of marriage
and conflict resolution
strategies of married people
(6) What is the
relationship between educational qualification and conflict resolution
strategies of married people
(7) What is
the relationship between
occupational status and
conflict resolution strategies of married people.
Hypothesis
The following null hypothesis were generated and tested at
the 0.05 level of significance.
(1) There is no
significant relationship between Gender and marital conflict resolution
strategies of couples.
(2) There is no
significant relationship between
Age and marital conflict resolution strategies of
couples.
(3) There is no
significant relationship between Length of marriage and marital conflict
resolution strategies of couples.
(4) There is no significant relationship between Educational
qualification and marital conflict resolution strategies of couples.
(5) There is no
significant relationship between Occupational status and marital conflict
resolution strategies of couples.
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